


goddamn heart flutter

by damnmysterytome



Series: kastle week fics [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, kastleweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnmysterytome/pseuds/damnmysterytome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karen Page has never considered herself to be the 'heart fluttering' type. Until she met Frank Castle. It's a recurring theme she noticed the first time they walked into the hospital room and she dropped Matt's hand. She wrote it off as the fact that Frank Castle had murdered close to what, forty people? She wrote it off as the fact that he was a murderer. Her heart fluttered when she spoke, We know, because we heard it given, and she felt like he was seeing into her soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	goddamn heart flutter

Karen Page has never considered herself to be the 'heart fluttering' type. Until she met Frank Castle. It's a recurring theme she noticed the first time they walked into the hospital room and she dropped Matt's hand. She wrote it off as the fact that Frank Castle had murdered close to what, forty people? She wrote it off as the fact that he was a murderer. Her heart fluttered when she spoke, _We know, because we heard it given,_ and she felt like he was seeing into her soul.

It didn't happen again. Not until she got in his face, stepping past the red tape and shoving a picture of him and his family in his face. Was the flutter from his steady gaze or from the fact that she could stare into his swollen eyes? She could hear his breathing, she could smell him. Coffee. Gunpowder.

 _You want answers? So do we, but none of us will get them if you're dead._  
 **Where did you get that?** _From your home._ **You were in my home? Why were you in my house?**

Her heart fluttered at the look on his face, first rage and then something she couldn't quite place. Of course, it happened again when he requested – no, demanded, that she be the only one he'd speak to. His eyes hadn't left her since the moment she and Foggy had walked back into the hospital room, without Matt Murdock.

Her. I need to talk to her alone.

Absolutely not. My colleague is -

I'll I'll do it.

That was stupid, right? Agree to be alone with him. She'd just told him that she had been in his house. He was tied down, but he's strong. Could he have broken out of his restraints?

Whatever the reason was, Karen wasn't afraid that he would. Whatever the reason was, she wasn't scared of him. Whatever the reason was, the closer she stood to him, the more her heart fluttered. She tried to get it off her mind as they went through what happened with his family. The look of pain on his face as he talked about it, she understood him so much more. Much more than the photos had explained.

Frank Castle was more than a murderer. He was a father. He was a husband. He was just a man.

 **My job was to keep them safe. I didn't. I didn't do it.**  
 _Uh, I think The questions can wait a minute, I'll just Um Why don't I, uh Why don't I come back when you're_ -

**You stay.** **  
** **Please.**

His request is almost heart breaking. But when her heart flutters at it, she can't deny it.

You were never in any danger.

It's the first words he'd said in a while, they'd been in the room in silence, Karen sipping on a cup of coffee as she looked at the questions Foggy asked her to ask. She hadn't asked a single one of them. She'd been focused on the truth. She cursed her heart when she felt it flutter again, she'd probably give anything for the damn thing to stop.

 **The point is, you were safe, okay? I just wanted you to know that.** But why? Why was it important to Frank Castle that she knew that? Karen can't pinpoint it  
 _Guess I'm just supposed to take your word on that._ Despite that she didn't know what to believe about Frank, she can't help but believe him. He could have taken any shot at her but even as she was running away from him, a part of her had the feeling that she wasn't who he was after. He could have killed anyone in that hospital but he only fired when he had a shot on Grotto.  
 **Classy**. A smirk formed on her face as she turned away from him – and her goddamn heart fluttered again.

Her heart found a standstill as they talked about his family, she's not sure how much she heart actually beat while she talked, told him about what she saw at his house. She can't remember everything but she hoped it was enough for Frank.

When he smiled, her heart fluttered again. He was just a man, just a father.

Despite being told 'don't give him anything', she handed him the photo. The look on his face when he stared at the photo for a moment was heartbreaking. Earth shattering.

She needed to look away before she let him see the tears in her face.

 **Thank you, ma'am.** _For what?_ **You helped... You helped me remember.**

There was that goddamn flutter again.

Frank was waiting for her in the room when she stepped in. He looked good, his face was less swollen and less bruised. His hands and feet were shackled and she considered asking them to remove the restraints. He wasn't going to hurt her. He proved that to her. But she knew it was pointless. Besides, who was going to believe her?

_Hi, Frank._   
**Ma'am.**

Every single time Frank made her heart flutter Karen could only wonder; what did that say about her? Frank Castle, a murderous vigilante, made her heart flutter. She couldn't write it off as just nerves anymore.

* * *

Karen didn't like the PTSD defense and deep down, she knew that Frank wasn't going to go for it. Even if Frank had PTSD, she knew that it wasn't the battlefield that caused it. No, Frank was fine when he came home. What happened to his family, that's where it all happened.

She isn't surprised that he's turning down the defense, offended that they'd even suggest he would claim to have it from war when he doesn't.

 _You don't cooperate with us, it doesn't matter if I help you figure out who killed your family, you will never see justice. All you will do, the rest of your life, is rot in a goddamn jail cell!_ Karen cannot tell what Frank is thinking and she hates his poker face. But he looks fucking amused. Amused at her shouting at him, amused at her passion for helping him. If only he understood.

Colonel Ray Schoonover. My old CO. Let's forget the PTSD defense, but if you want a character witness, the colonel, he will do.

Thank you.

**Now, ma'am, do you have anything for me or not? Maybe I just ought to go back and rot in my goddamn jail cell?**

Karen's 2% sure the Punisher just flirted with her – and her goddamn heart flutters. Again.

* * *

Sitting next to Frank at trial is hard enough. He still smells of coffee and gunpowder but now it's mixed with jailhouse soap. She's close enough that if she just scooted her chair two inches to the right, she could touch him. Fuck, she wanted to touch him.

She can see him just out of the corner of her eye, and every time she catches him looking at her, her fucking heart flutters. Again.

* * *

The child of one of the people Frank killed had an outburst and the jury was told to disregard the outburst – but Karen can't. Frank can't. Frank doesn't disregard it, she doesn't need to hear that it's bothering him for Karen to know it. From across the table, she can tell it's the only thing on his mind.

 **I did that. Right? That kid, I took his father from him. I did that.** Frank finally spoke after what seemed like an hour of silence between them. Maybe it was an hour. Maybe it was just five minutes. Karen isn't really sure.  
 _Yeah, you did._ There wasn't a point in sugarcoating things with Frank. It's something that Karen really likes about Frank, not having to sugarcoat with him.   
**Uh-huh.** His eyes were distant, but they were burning right into her.  
 _Look, Frank, I can't judge you._ Frank doesn't know that she's taken someone from someone. That she's taken someone who was loved by someone. He doesn't understand that that's why she can't, and won't, judge him.

 **That was tough in there for you, right? It was It was, um, hard?** It's more important to Frank that Karen is okay than he's okay. He's on trial for murder and he's reaching out to her. Her heart fluttered again before she spoke. _Yeah._

* * *

Frank does look good in his suit, but the look he gives her as he's being walked over to the podium makes her heart flutter, again, and it gives her a sense of dread. Something isn't right. She can tell. When he started to talk and rant, she doesn't understand. Why is he blowing everything that they've worked so hard to build up?

**I ain't crazy! I'm not crazy.  
Okay? I know what I did.  
I know who I am.  
And I do not need your help. **

He turned to look directly at her and she knew the message was meant for her. She swallowed and her heart fluttered. But it's not for the same reasons that it was before, there's something different about this flutter. She doesn't like it.

* * *

It's the last time she felt the flutter until she turned around and saw Frank standing in her apartment. He tried to soothe her with his voice, softly shushing her with his hands up in the air.

 _Hands on your head, Frank. I mean it._ **It wasn't me.** Her heart skipped a beat as he spoke. _Hands on your head or I will unload this thing, I swear to Christ!_ **It wasn't me.** _Do it._ **Okay. Okay. Hey.**

Suddenly the gun was out of her hand and she's on the floor with Frank Castle on top of her and the heart flutter happened again.Stupid fucking heart flutter. She still doesn't understand what it means. She doesn't want to find out.

* * *

_Blacksmith already tried to get me once._ _  
_ _I really don't wanna give him a second chance._   
**He's not gonna get it.**

Karen turned to look at Frank when he promised that it he won't get the second chance. It's a loaded promise. It's a fluttering promise – and Karen mumbled a curse that he doesn't hear when she feels hear heart flutter.

* * *

 

**Look, I might generally be considered out of my skull, so this might not mean much, but this could be the craziest, most batshit thing I've ever heard in my life. People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and and and tear you apart, and make you feel like you're never gonna recover. Shit. I'd, I, I would chop my arm off right here, in this restaurant, just to feel that one more time for my wife. My old lady, she didn't just break my heart. She, she'd rip it out, she'd tear it apart, she'd step on that shit, feed it to a dog. I mean, she was ruthless. She brought the pain. But she'll never hurt me again. You see, I'll never feel that. You sit here and you're all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?**

Frank's speech about love caused her breath to hitch into her throat. She did love Matt, does love Matt. But if she loved Matt, why doesn't he make her heart flutter like Frank does? When he told her to hold on with two hands, why is she thinking about Frank instead of Matt? Karen nodded, but she's not able to say anything to him. She's not able to argue about Frank's speech about love. It's the most beautiful thing she's heard in a while, and it caused her so much pain.

 **Now, you need to go in the back and get the waitress. You tell the cook and anyone else who's back there to find the biggest piece of stainless steel and you get under it. Go now.**  
 _Wait. What's happening?_ **The Buick.** **  
** **It's rolled around the block three times before it pulled up.** **  
** _Who are they?_ **Just some guys who are about to walk into a diner for the last time.** Karen's heart fell as she realized what had happened. What this all was. The coffee, the drive, the fake concern. Her heart doesn't flutter this time. It broke.

* * *

Everyone she talked to is sure that Frank is dead and her heart ached. She couldn't really pinpoint why her heart ached as much as it did, but her heart ached. There was no body that was Frank's. He wasnt dead.

She knew it the second the music blared in her car, the song that had played earlier. Her heart fluttered again. Frank Castle was alive.

* * *

 _No, no, no._ _  
_ _Frank! Listen to me._ _  
_ _Frank! You do this, and you are the monster that they say you are._ _  
_ _Do you hear me? [Frank grunts] You do this, and I am done._ _  
_ _That's it._ _  
_ _You're dead to me._  
 _Do you hear me?_ **I'm already dead.**

The door slammed and Karen's heart fluttered. And ached.

* * *

 

She can see him, standing on the rooftop. To other people, it's just a figure and it's just a silver painted skull. But to Karen, it's everything. It's the proof that she needed in her head. He's not as gone as he thinks he is.

_Frank._

Karen hoped it's not the last time her heart will flutter.

 


End file.
